Babies, no more.

During my C-section with Carson, the Doctor asked, "I hope you are ok with 3 children". Apparently my uterus had attached itself to my organs and had to be cut apart to get my beautiful baby out. (Damn Uterus!) I couldn't be happier with my family. My wonderful children have brought me immeasurable amounts of explicit joy. They are the light in my life, and create new euphoric emotions in me every day. I love the simple joy they find in 3D glasses, the love they have for all living things, their silly leprechaun fears, and their utter disappointment when they don't get to play with their friends. But one of the things I have enjoyed the most about my children, is that as babies, they love to snuggle with me in the morning when I lift them from their cribs. Just the two of us, silent, breathing in the scents of a perfect moment. That is the best part of my morning, no matter how early it is! A couple days ago, Carson climbed out of his crib. Although I rejoiced with him in his new found freedom on the outside, I have since found it a little harder to breathe. It is like I have a bruise on my heart and every time I look at his crib I am reminded he is my last baby. Although I am ecstatic to be moving on to a new phase of life, I find myself clinging to the memories of a private moment with my newborn in the hospital, a silent victory as a baby latches on to my breast, or the first real smile as my infant recognizes me as his mother. Oh, how I will miss my babies. My perfectly precious, made with passion and love, cuddly and completely dependent on me, babies.