Showing posts with label grandma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grandma. Show all posts
Lunch Date
Mom and I met up for a funeral, (RIP Gloria Peterson) and decided to grab some lunch afterward. I am so, SO blessed to be the daughter of this woman. She is the epidemy of motherhood, love, charity and friend. I look forward to every moment I have with her and am always eager to soak up her goodness. Thanks for you, mom.
BYU Women's Conference
April 28 2016
Speaking of laughter, these bathroom signs posted around the conference made me laugh. I just had to include them in my montage.
It's not that she's famous, but who else's mom was asked to speak at BYU's women's conference... In one of the largest available venues... With the incredibly talented Hilary Weeks?
That's right.
My mom.
Mom and Hilary talked about living your life with humor. A topic they are both passionate about and shared flawlessly. They were speaking to a full house. There couldn't have been two better presenters.
After they were done (the two of them took an hour total) Mom's supporters walked down the street to the pizza place for a celebratory lunch. It took us longer to get there than anticipated because mom had created a following. Apparently lunch would be a celebrity lunch instead of celebratory.
Actually, it would be a celebrity weekend. The rest of the conference mom was stopped everywhere she went to compliment her on a job well done. Her message really was inspiring and applicable to every human on the planet. Female, Male, Young and old. Just find a way to laugh.
Speaking of laughter, these bathroom signs posted around the conference made me laugh. I just had to include them in my montage.
Girl Band
New Year's Day 2016! After sleeping in we rallied the troops for the final party of the season. We headed to the Castleberry Condo to visit with my cousins, Aimee and Shannon, who were in town, from Seattle, with their families for the holidays. It was so fun to visit with them for a bit and I hope we can make a trip to see them sometime soon. After they left, Ash and Kaylee gently twisted Grandmas arm into teaching them a guitar song. They sounded so good as they started getting the hang of it! At the wind down of the evening they declared, "we should start our own band!".
You go girls!
14
Man! I get so emotional on my kids' birthdays! 14 years ago, after 14 long, scary hours of labor, my beautiful baby boy was born. I still remember holding him for the first time, really holding him. Not including when he was held up next to me as I lay filleted on the operating table. I didn't expect him to be so alert. Nothing felt more perfect than that moment. Now, 14 years later, I still feel an immeasurable joy with his presence in our family.
Today started off as any other school day… Up with the alarm at 6 o'clock, shower, hot breakfast (A.J. requested toad-in-a-hole). With four presents on the table, he wanted to savor the moment and take it slow, but you can't do that on a school morning, so he dug in. Present number one was in an iPhone 3s box- inside, a pair of socks! Present number two was in an iPhone 5 box – inside, a pair of socks! Present number three, inside and iPhone 6 box- A pair of socks! And the last present… Inside an iPhone projector box – two pairs of socks! But, underneath these socks there was a note that said "to find your real present, call (phone number)". So as he got up to get the phone, Bj slid his real present onto his breakfast chair and after A.J. finished dialing the number, his chair started ringing!
His current fav: steak tacos.
(Pic of the embarrassing birthday shoutout)
We did it. Bj and I finally caved. We conformed and got him a phone. He has been using an old phone for the past year and has proved he can handle the mature decisions that come with a smart phone. His expression was priceless...I wish I had videoed him, but now I hope not to forget. After discussing a few statutes of limitations he set up a few things (and in the process he informed us his dream was to work at Costco... "Costco has everything! And the workers get discounts!") then had to be on his way to the big-house, AKA- middle school. He grinned the entire way. 
(He sent me this picture when he got to school, "First Selfie with new phone!")
So, a funny thing that happened concerning his new iPhone6: last night I texted a request that mine and Bj's siblings and other family texters, send a birthday greeting between 6:45-7:00am (or after 2:30) then I accidentally gave them all the wrong number! After the realization changed the hue of my face, I sent a new message with the right number. After 2:30, and well into the evening, Aj was finally feelin' the love.
This is the first time ever that I haven't been able to go to lunch with him on his special day. Luckily Bj was off and checked him out of school and was able to take him to Cafe Rio. I love that he still loves spending time with us.
After school he went home and tinkered with his phone for a bit until I got home. My mom was there with her new red Volvo SUV offering to drive us to our next destination: Provo Beach, particularly the Flow Rider! Aj wanted to do it last birthday but it just didn't work out so we made it a point to go this time. For a hint of a second, I felt a little guilty about blowing off Carsons scouts as well as soccer practice, as well as AJ's lacrosse practice, but the guilt passed quick as the 6 of us headed south.
When we got to Provo's indoor surfing, mom and I saw the hot tub and had second thoughts about not bringing a swimsuit! Side note: We asked a local if there was a suit shop nearby and she directed us to a local owned shop located two stores down the strip. (100 yards from flowrider).When we went in, the clerk informed us of a one day only sale of 40% off (so I was expecting suits upwards of $100 dollars). Mom ended up finding one for just under $30 and I found one that was just over $6! We hurried back to the "beach" and had so much fun watching Bj and the kids that we didn't even want to don our new duds!
Did I mention we had the whole flowrider to ourselves?!
Our birthday boy was daring and adventurous and didn't mind being pummeled after a gnarly wipeout. Ash, more timid, but a water bug, loved the rush of the ride and the lull of the waves as she sang to herself while happily veering from side to side, until she was asked to ride the wave back so someone else could have a turn. She even wanted to get timed on her boogie-boarding duration. Carson, our tactile-tender, algophobe, felt like a rip-finned guppies who couldn't measure up so he hardly even tried. Looking back, I should have videoed him so he could see how awesome and natural he looked, or even shown him how many times his dad and brother crashed, but instead the room praised every attempt, and encouraged at every lost lunge. I think he started having fun but was still too afraid to get hurt so he held back. Then, 10 seconds before power down he made one final attempt and was blasted up to the drain where he jabbed his belly with his board. A tearful way to end the activity, but at least I got a couple cute pictures! Bj did awesome, as expected. He is a great athlete and always strives for perfection. He had a fair share of wipeouts, but he made it look like he knew what he was doing. Mom and I cheered in the bandstand urging and snapping memories.
Full bellies from steaks at Texas Roadhouse was an approved birthday choice all around.
When we got home, one final surprise for AJ played out like this:
Grandma was looking through AJ's scrapbook (I usually pull the birthday kid's album out on their special day, but when we went to tuck AJ in last night he had beat me to it and was all aglow from his 4x6 capsules of the past). As she turned the pages, I tucked AJ's #1 birthday request deeper in the album. Grandma expertly asked aj to look through the pages with her and when the bulging page revealed his greatest desire, he squealed and jumped for Joy hollering, "SKYRIM!!!" (A game for the xBox360).
After a fond farewell to grandma, a quick check revealed Ashlyn asleep in her clothes, Carson clinging to his final seconds of secondhand bliss, and our 14 year old inhaling lingering moments of the "best day ever".
And it really was.
Women's conference
I don't love sitting still. 3 hours every Sunday is sometimes more than I can bear. I always come out of it ok, mostly (now that my kids are "older") I feel like I come out for the better. But when there's an "extra" conference, it takes all of my grown-up willpower to get there.
Twice a year our church (lds.org) holds a semi-annual general conference. As part of that, they hold a couple other meetings. One of them, that occurs the week before the "big show", is the Women's Conference. They generally have some of the leading Women from select auxiliaries who speak with an accompanying general authority. All women, ages 8 and up are invited to attend. The session is broadcasted worldwide and we are encouraged to attend at a local meetinghouse, but also have the option to watch from home.
This particular conference, I had grand plans to make an event out of it and contact my sisters and attend together. My ambition simmered to watching it on my iPad at home.
Then my mom called.
I am so glad she did. If she hadn't, I probably would have settled for the next installment of our X-Men marathon and missed out on all that was said. Instead, my mom came out to Herriman to attend with Ashlyn and I. Our stake even had a photo booth set up to commemorate the event (the first general meeting in out newly built building). Other than the too-dark-for-note-taking, it was a perfect evening. I was able to jot down a few quotes that stuck out that I want to remember. (Below). We finished the evening off at a local mexiraunt giving us full bellies, to go along with our full hearts, and souls.
Winter Quarters
My cousin, My mom's sister Julie's son, Johnny.
He was the reason for this awesome trip with my mom.
Johnny fell in love with a darling girl named Hailey who accepted his hand in marraige and they agreed to get married in the Winter Quarters Nebraska Temple where her Dad is serving as mission president. Thus the Kazz Road Trip (Kash & Lizz=Kazz).
Normally, well...not "Normally", trips in and of themselves are not "normal" for me, but that's beside the point... Anyway- Normally, I would't be able to take a trip like this, but the stars were in alignment and my husband and kids were supportive and encouraging so I took the bull by the horns, (or the BMW by the wheel) and took I-80 by storm. (actually, no storms were forecasted... even better)
Wednesday, I took half day off work and headed to Bountiful where my incredible mom was packed and ready. Once we got on the freeway we dove into conversation and hesitated beginning our book on disc (Secret Keeper by Kate Morton...20 Hours Long) but because of the length, we decided we had better make some headway. It was so fun riding side by side just mom and I (and Flat Betsy in the trunk). From Bountiful to Cheyenne, our stop for the night at the not so shabby Best Western, was about 8 hours (that's including about 6 potty breaks). After check in we got right back into the car and headed over to the Yelp recommend Mexican dive about 15 min into the ghetto... I mean, City.
Thursday morning we enjoyed probably the second best Hotel Breakfast Buffet, ever. (The first had to be at the Farfield Inn in Richfield when we went to visit Jamie a few years ago)
Eight more hours had us to our hotel in Omaha. The Country Inn was actually on the west side of the Missouri river but in a little Iowa annex so even though we were in Omaha, it was Omaha, Iowa, not Omaha Nebraska.
First thing, after we checked in, was to take in some sights. Top of my list was the pedestrian bridge that bridged the Nebraska-Iowa state lines. We didn't go up on the bridge at this point, just took it in and looked around. We hadn't heard great things about Omaha, but so far, were pleasantly impressed. We were invited to a BBQ at the mission home with Hailey's parents so braved the Nebraska interstate with clenched jaws and white knuckles. Mom did a great job navigating and we made it unscathed.
Johnny and Hailey had stars in their eyes and were so excited with all the family that came into town for the wedding. They had about 40 people there for the event, only two were native Nebraskans. I'm sure many more would have been there if they could, they are an adorable couple.
After the BBQ, Mom and I wanted to check out the temple at night so we took the long way back to our hotel. At the temple, we were really able to see the famous stained glass really well. It was really cool to see in that lighting. Another cool thing was the bats. There were some pretty active bats swooping around trying to intimidate the golden trumpeter, but he held strong and continued to play his tune. After our jaunt around the temple, we headed across the dark, and a little bit scary, Mormon Bridge across to the Iowa side of the river. We made another stop at the pedestrian bridge to check it our at night, and felt it was worth the stop. Back at our hotel, after a long day in the car, we were ready to crash, but not before reading the information that Hailey's mom printed out with bits of information about the winter temple. Four pages of facts and tid-bits, had mom and I pumped for the sealing in the morning.
Friday morning we were up with the sun to welcome our morning with a bike ride. A cool tourist attraction in Omaha is their bike stations. They have dozen(s?) of rental stands where you can rent a bike for $6 for one hour, and $4 for each additional hour. At the base of our favorite bridge there was a convenient and simple checkout stand where we both took a minute to adjust our seats and load our gear into our nifty little wire baskets. Once we got to the other side of the bridge I was antsy about time (after all, we couldn't be late for the whole reason we came to Omaha in the first place!) but mom insisted we had enough time to ride along the bank of the Missouri. Following her lead we took a mellow stroll... or the equivalent of a stroll, but on a bike, past some pretty storm-hashed houses, some wild turkeys, a black squirrel with a red tail, and a search and rescue dog and handler (my assumption..). Being two minutes away from our hotel we were able to get ready quickly and to the temple early enough to go the visitor center across the street. The center had a lot of information about Winter Quarters and the Mormon pioneers that set up shop there. It was incredible and Mom and I were both so grateful to have been born in the generation we were born in.
After our whirlwind tour, we headed over to the temple where we sat in the chapel for what felt like an hour before we went into the sealing room.
After some fun pictures around the grounds and checking out the somber surroundings (the winter quarters cemetery and it's approximately 600 dead, are buried directly behind the temple) we headed to Flemmings for the wedding luncheon that forever changed my opinion of what a "Good" steak was. (I finally understand what it means to want your steak to "Melt" in your mouth)
The luncheon was over around 4:30 so mom and I said good bye to the family and headed over to Iowa's Council Bluffs. Here is where Brigham Young was sustained(?) as the new Prophet. The city of Council Bluffs erected a replica of the historic tabernacle to earmark the event. After a sizable celebration, the city deliberated what to do with the building and the church was able to procure it for $1. One dollar. The same amount they bought the property for the Winter Quarters Temple grounds. "That LDS Church knows how to take care of property"!
With the night still young, mom and I headed downtown to check out a pretty substantial collection of statues. It spanned 4 city blocks starting with an 1&3/4 scale wagon train with 4 fully-loaded wagons and teams, horses with riders, children, families... the works! This wagon train had "Startled a herd of bison which in turn fled startling a flock of geese that took flight. The sculpture was beautifully depicted and if the sun wasn't setting, and we weren't in danger for entering a building without the proper identification, we would have lingered a bit longer. But before the sun set for good, we drove over to the Zoo dome to check it out and made one last stop at a firefighter memorial before we headed back to the hotel to read ourselves to sleep.
Saturday morning we were up at 4:30 Utah time and on the road about an hour after that. Only 8 potty stops on our 15 hour ride home, and we were back to moms before my kids were in bed!
(Pic above: Rising sun in Omaha, and Abe Lincoln rest stop about an hour west of Cheyenne)
I am so glad everything worked out the way it did and the trip couldn't have been more perfect. I know we were only there for a day and a half, but really, that's all we even needed! And... We didn't finish our book so sometime next week we get to take a day trip to try and finish it! I love spending time with my mom. She is an incredible woman and friend and I hope I can be like her when I grow up! Thanks for the fun trip Mom!
Also- Thanks to my awesome hubby who got the kids to and from school Wednesday-Friday, and Thanks to my dad who not only had to work on his birthday, but went out to boonieville to pick up three of his grandkids, introduced them to Arby's sliders, and spent the evening with them while his wife and daughter made their way back across the country.
Whose family rocks?
Mine.
When you're stuck inside...
At grandma-Linda's/ Grandpa-Joe's house, the kids love to play in the "grandkid room". The little tangram toys have sat dormant for two+ years until today. The kids didn't bring their snow clothes and the "big-boys" (aka, dads and grandpas) were in the basement watching football.... So the kids searched for something new-ish and exciting and came up with these fun little shapes! They were so excited to create endless colorful patterns. It was extra nice for the moms because we got to visit endlessly and when the kids finished their designs they brought them in and showed them off! (Ashlyn more so than the others:)
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!
It should say: Parting freaking SUCKS for those not doing the parting.
This past week has been, for me, the most emotionally exhausting week of my life. I lost my life muse on Wednesday, July 27th at 1:30 in the afternoon. (See her obituary here)
Grandma
When most people my age hear the word grandma they think of someone on their way ... you know..."out" (Feel free to interpret). I was totally unprepared. Totally. Grandma was an amazingly independent woman of 84. She was everything everyone who knew her aspired to be; kind, humorous, well-read, social, smart, a culinary genius, fair, tolerant, and whatever anyone's definition of perfect is. But most of all, she loved, she lived, and she was loved back. Grandpa died 11 years ago, almost to the day. (see his obit.) I was equally unprepared for his passing as well, shut-down for about a week, and never fully filled the hole he left. 11 years is a long time. It's a long time for grandma to go without her soul mate. I'm talking Websters definition of true love. Couples try (or don't try) their whole lives trying for their kind of love. If you want proof of it, watch this 8 minute video montage assembled by my cousin Jason:
Just watch her look at him.
So in that eleven years since this historical love was temporally disconnected, I became a mother. It is amazing how 'just' becoming a mother ties me even closer to my already close grandma. I thought grandpas death was sudden, and painful, but it pales in comparison (I know he won't take offense to that) to the void in my heart that I feel now. I try replacing it with memories, I try replacing it by visiting with my aunts, uncles, and 41 cousins, their spouses and 71(and counting) great-grand children, I try replacing it with the gospel that she loved. But what it comes down to, is right now, I just need to let it hurt.
I had a dream Wednesday night (when I finally fell asleep) that I was in Heaven. It was storybook white and fluffy. There was a single white-robed figure with shoulder length brown hair standing about 50 yards away with arms stretched out. When I looked close, I didn't really recognize who it was. Then she broke out into her unforgettable smile and started running toward me. I ran toward her and we collapsed in each others arms and just held each other as we laughed and let joyful tears stream down our faces. As we pulled away, I looked into her young blue eyes and she just said, "grandma's baby girl". I woke up and sobbed.
Her last days on earth were quick, and profound. I felt comfort, and continue to feel it as I cherish her. I was not with her when she passed, but only a few hours before. She told me she had a good life. During her final hours, her 9 children were gathered around her and experienced the veil with her as she passed. She is, without a doubt, with her beloved Jack where she will be once again singing, laughing, and staring starry-eyed at him as they both administer to the loved ones they helped to create.
With passing, comes societal rituals known as viewings and funerals.
First, Wednesday night, (same day as...) my brother Rich suggested an impromptu "Cousins Party" at my parents house. It was extremely therapeutic. BJ worked, and I didn't want to be home to mourn alone so I took the kids and we reminisced late into the night while all Grandmas kids (mom, etc) were at Her house planning the viewing/funeral that would take place 2/3 days later.
Thursday was mine and BJ's 13th wedding anniversary. After I worked from 8-3;30, ALMOST a tear free day, We still managed Olive Garden and "Super 8", with the babysitting help of Paul and Kim. But neither one of us could steer our thoughts away from Grandma. What an impression she has left on BJ as well.
Friday, I had a school meeting in the morning, and BJ agreed that I should just go straight to my parents house and be with them, go to the temple, whatever I needed to do. He met up with me at the funeral home at 4:00 with sharply dressed kids (seriously, boys in suits, and ash looking gorgeous as ever). As the family started to trickle in, I was able to have some one-on-one time with each of the kids and Grandma's memories. They loved her so much. They not only felt it, but KNEW it. She lit up when they walked into her sight. And they lit up as they talked about her. AJ especially.
AJ inherited grandmas keen memory, he is also so tender hearted and just melted when her saw the certainty of her death, draped in flowers, in the chapel of the funeral home. After AJ regained his composure, he proceeded to visit with other family there and peruse the memorabilia being displayed. When it came time to gather the family and for the 9 kids to put their "Treasures for mom" in her casket drawer, I got a comfortable spot on the floor and enjoyed listening to some amazing memories. After about 10 minutes into the "Program" I caught BJs eye and he asked if I could see AJ. I looked around and didn't see him among the mass of children and sent BJ to check the bathroom. When BJ came back with a confused look I snuck out to help him look throughout the rather large, home. The first place I thought to look was the rostrum directly behind grandmas casket but didn't want to disrupt the service so I went around to a south-side entrance door and just peeked in and started to panic when he wasn't there. BJ had looked through the entire home as well and he was nowhere to be seen. I went back into the viewing room, to see if he was sitting among his cousins. When I couldn't see his sandy blonde hair, my already aching heart shot a wave of grief throughout my entire being. My son was missing. I've heard of it happening but it has never been longer than seconds for me personally. My parents and siblings caught my panicked expression and quietly snuck out to help look. There were even a few Funeral Home employees who dropped their work to help look for him. He was not inside the home. He was not on the grounds. Ben went one way, Matt went another. BJ got in his car and drove around Main Street. I crossed the street to a local stream and ditch. I never want to look in places like that again for my, or any, child. I didn't stop praying for help. Begging for help. Almost 45 minutes later and even more recruits to help search, I peacefully went back into the parlor, opened the north-rostrum door and was overwhelmed with a mixture of relief and grief as my 9 year old "tough-guy" laid red-faced, alone, curled in the fetal position sobbing uncontrollably into his callused hands. I held him while my relieved mom called off the search.
The rest of the viewing was filled with tears, laughter and comfort as we collectively remembered an amazing woman.
Friday Night, the "Cousins Party" was continued while we visited with the family that wasn't able to grieve together on Wednesday night. BJ and AJ went home because AJ had football tryouts in the morning and might not make it back for the funeral. Ash, Cars, and I stayed at Mom's house.
Saturday. Funeral. Breakfast bagles and Diet Coke delivered by moms good friend Debbie R. The funeral was held at grandmas church of 50+ years. Viewing first, for those who didn't make it Friday night, then the viewing doors were closed and the heart wrenching ritual of the casket closing commenced. If there was a dry eye, it didn't come from grandma's gene pool. We proceeded to the chapel for the program. It is not often that you leave a funeral wanting to make some positive changes in your life. All nine of my moms siblings spoke, my Grandma's brother and his wife spoke, There were 2 musical numbers, two prayers, two songs (that I tearfully led), and two remarks. There were times you could have heard a pin drop. The kids must have been in an angel induced trance. I know I was. Each aunt/uncle spoke in such a way that left you wanting their talk not to end. They talked of memories of grandma, impacts she left, lives she touched. They spoke of her laughter, her friendship, her cooking, her parenting (grand-parenting too), her example, her wit and her love. She truly left a [powerful legacy for her posterity to live up to. (and would be dramatically appalled at the grammatical errors and chunky flow of my tribute!)
At the Salt Lake Cemetary, she was laid to rest beside Grandpa. I almost heard the heavens proclaim, "FINALLY!" I actually felt joy.
Saturday Night, we went back to my parents house, reminisced some more, and when we got home and had the kids tucked in bed, AJ came out sobbing again and was able to find some comfort in her memorial video and some personal reminiscing.
Sunday Night: One more night of Family Therapy at Aunt Care's house. BJ said it right when he said "Having the support group you have, makes the pain bearable". You got that right. I have an amazing family, and I can see in each of them little pieces of grandma. I can also see why each one was her favorite.
I am so grateful for the circumstances of grandma's passing. She could have gone silently and un-announced, but she chose to postpone her reunion with her sweetheart so we could have a chance to say goodbye. I am so glad that she didn't have to experience months or years of painful rehabilitation, or humiliating dependability, and allowed us to keep only beautiful memories of her remarkable life.
The memories are powerful, Grandma, but parting freaking sucks...so if you don't mind, I think I'll curl up with my son for a while and have a good cry.
Helen Grace Cracroft White
Dearly Loved, Loving Dearly.
It should say: Parting freaking SUCKS for those not doing the parting.
This past week has been, for me, the most emotionally exhausting week of my life. I lost my life muse on Wednesday, July 27th at 1:30 in the afternoon. (See her obituary here)
Grandma
When most people my age hear the word grandma they think of someone on their way ... you know..."out" (Feel free to interpret). I was totally unprepared. Totally. Grandma was an amazingly independent woman of 84. She was everything everyone who knew her aspired to be; kind, humorous, well-read, social, smart, a culinary genius, fair, tolerant, and whatever anyone's definition of perfect is. But most of all, she loved, she lived, and she was loved back. Grandpa died 11 years ago, almost to the day. (see his obit.) I was equally unprepared for his passing as well, shut-down for about a week, and never fully filled the hole he left. 11 years is a long time. It's a long time for grandma to go without her soul mate. I'm talking Websters definition of true love. Couples try (or don't try) their whole lives trying for their kind of love. If you want proof of it, watch this 8 minute video montage assembled by my cousin Jason:
Just watch her look at him.
So in that eleven years since this historical love was temporally disconnected, I became a mother. It is amazing how 'just' becoming a mother ties me even closer to my already close grandma. I thought grandpas death was sudden, and painful, but it pales in comparison (I know he won't take offense to that) to the void in my heart that I feel now. I try replacing it with memories, I try replacing it by visiting with my aunts, uncles, and 41 cousins, their spouses and 71(and counting) great-grand children, I try replacing it with the gospel that she loved. But what it comes down to, is right now, I just need to let it hurt.
I had a dream Wednesday night (when I finally fell asleep) that I was in Heaven. It was storybook white and fluffy. There was a single white-robed figure with shoulder length brown hair standing about 50 yards away with arms stretched out. When I looked close, I didn't really recognize who it was. Then she broke out into her unforgettable smile and started running toward me. I ran toward her and we collapsed in each others arms and just held each other as we laughed and let joyful tears stream down our faces. As we pulled away, I looked into her young blue eyes and she just said, "grandma's baby girl". I woke up and sobbed.
Her last days on earth were quick, and profound. I felt comfort, and continue to feel it as I cherish her. I was not with her when she passed, but only a few hours before. She told me she had a good life. During her final hours, her 9 children were gathered around her and experienced the veil with her as she passed. She is, without a doubt, with her beloved Jack where she will be once again singing, laughing, and staring starry-eyed at him as they both administer to the loved ones they helped to create.
With passing, comes societal rituals known as viewings and funerals.
First, Wednesday night, (same day as...) my brother Rich suggested an impromptu "Cousins Party" at my parents house. It was extremely therapeutic. BJ worked, and I didn't want to be home to mourn alone so I took the kids and we reminisced late into the night while all Grandmas kids (mom, etc) were at Her house planning the viewing/funeral that would take place 2/3 days later.
Thursday was mine and BJ's 13th wedding anniversary. After I worked from 8-3;30, ALMOST a tear free day, We still managed Olive Garden and "Super 8", with the babysitting help of Paul and Kim. But neither one of us could steer our thoughts away from Grandma. What an impression she has left on BJ as well.
Friday, I had a school meeting in the morning, and BJ agreed that I should just go straight to my parents house and be with them, go to the temple, whatever I needed to do. He met up with me at the funeral home at 4:00 with sharply dressed kids (seriously, boys in suits, and ash looking gorgeous as ever). As the family started to trickle in, I was able to have some one-on-one time with each of the kids and Grandma's memories. They loved her so much. They not only felt it, but KNEW it. She lit up when they walked into her sight. And they lit up as they talked about her. AJ especially.
AJ inherited grandmas keen memory, he is also so tender hearted and just melted when her saw the certainty of her death, draped in flowers, in the chapel of the funeral home. After AJ regained his composure, he proceeded to visit with other family there and peruse the memorabilia being displayed. When it came time to gather the family and for the 9 kids to put their "Treasures for mom" in her casket drawer, I got a comfortable spot on the floor and enjoyed listening to some amazing memories. After about 10 minutes into the "Program" I caught BJs eye and he asked if I could see AJ. I looked around and didn't see him among the mass of children and sent BJ to check the bathroom. When BJ came back with a confused look I snuck out to help him look throughout the rather large, home. The first place I thought to look was the rostrum directly behind grandmas casket but didn't want to disrupt the service so I went around to a south-side entrance door and just peeked in and started to panic when he wasn't there. BJ had looked through the entire home as well and he was nowhere to be seen. I went back into the viewing room, to see if he was sitting among his cousins. When I couldn't see his sandy blonde hair, my already aching heart shot a wave of grief throughout my entire being. My son was missing. I've heard of it happening but it has never been longer than seconds for me personally. My parents and siblings caught my panicked expression and quietly snuck out to help look. There were even a few Funeral Home employees who dropped their work to help look for him. He was not inside the home. He was not on the grounds. Ben went one way, Matt went another. BJ got in his car and drove around Main Street. I crossed the street to a local stream and ditch. I never want to look in places like that again for my, or any, child. I didn't stop praying for help. Begging for help. Almost 45 minutes later and even more recruits to help search, I peacefully went back into the parlor, opened the north-rostrum door and was overwhelmed with a mixture of relief and grief as my 9 year old "tough-guy" laid red-faced, alone, curled in the fetal position sobbing uncontrollably into his callused hands. I held him while my relieved mom called off the search.
The rest of the viewing was filled with tears, laughter and comfort as we collectively remembered an amazing woman.
Friday Night, the "Cousins Party" was continued while we visited with the family that wasn't able to grieve together on Wednesday night. BJ and AJ went home because AJ had football tryouts in the morning and might not make it back for the funeral. Ash, Cars, and I stayed at Mom's house.
Saturday. Funeral. Breakfast bagles and Diet Coke delivered by moms good friend Debbie R. The funeral was held at grandmas church of 50+ years. Viewing first, for those who didn't make it Friday night, then the viewing doors were closed and the heart wrenching ritual of the casket closing commenced. If there was a dry eye, it didn't come from grandma's gene pool. We proceeded to the chapel for the program. It is not often that you leave a funeral wanting to make some positive changes in your life. All nine of my moms siblings spoke, my Grandma's brother and his wife spoke, There were 2 musical numbers, two prayers, two songs (that I tearfully led), and two remarks. There were times you could have heard a pin drop. The kids must have been in an angel induced trance. I know I was. Each aunt/uncle spoke in such a way that left you wanting their talk not to end. They talked of memories of grandma, impacts she left, lives she touched. They spoke of her laughter, her friendship, her cooking, her parenting (grand-parenting too), her example, her wit and her love. She truly left a [powerful legacy for her posterity to live up to. (and would be dramatically appalled at the grammatical errors and chunky flow of my tribute!)
At the Salt Lake Cemetary, she was laid to rest beside Grandpa. I almost heard the heavens proclaim, "FINALLY!" I actually felt joy.
Saturday Night, we went back to my parents house, reminisced some more, and when we got home and had the kids tucked in bed, AJ came out sobbing again and was able to find some comfort in her memorial video and some personal reminiscing.
Sunday Night: One more night of Family Therapy at Aunt Care's house. BJ said it right when he said "Having the support group you have, makes the pain bearable". You got that right. I have an amazing family, and I can see in each of them little pieces of grandma. I can also see why each one was her favorite.
I am so grateful for the circumstances of grandma's passing. She could have gone silently and un-announced, but she chose to postpone her reunion with her sweetheart so we could have a chance to say goodbye. I am so glad that she didn't have to experience months or years of painful rehabilitation, or humiliating dependability, and allowed us to keep only beautiful memories of her remarkable life.
The memories are powerful, Grandma, but parting freaking sucks...so if you don't mind, I think I'll curl up with my son for a while and have a good cry.
Helen Grace Cracroft White
Dearly Loved, Loving Dearly.
Family dinners
I love how my mom can turn something as simple as taco soup into an awesome Sunday dinner.
I love my family.
I love my family.
Grown up girl bonding time
Last Sunday, My grandma White wasn't feeling well enough to join us for dinner at my mom's house so my mom made a plate of (delicious, of course) dinner for her. My dad and I took the plate to her, and got to visit for a few minutes and somehow the topic of organizing came up. She was at her wits end with her kitchen cabinets and was ready to hire out to have them organized. That's when I realized it's been a while since I had a good chat with my amazing, wonderful, not to mention technologically savvy grandma.... Had she NO IDEA that I LOVE organizing things??? I told her that I would be to her house on Thursday to organize her kitchen cabinets. My awesome sister(IL) KelliJo was able to come help too! (thanks KJ!)
Here's how it went on Thursday:
I arrived at 5:00 (on the dot) and brought with me my post-its, sharpie, labeler, and "DI box" and got right to work. There were two main problem areas and I figured it would take me 2 hours, 1 with KJ helping. I was off.... way off.
I don't want you to think I am about to start complaining about cleaning or organizing, or the random out of place things I was finding...this is about something totally different. Life. I had absolutely no idea how lived in her kitchen was until I started escaping into her memories. The very first cabinet I opened was full of beautifully random stemware. Not one piece was the same, each piece gorgeous. KJ and I started digging for the memories about where they were from and the stories that came with them. It went this way with each item, including salt and pepper shakers from switzerland that she never uses, and a pan from her neice (Becca) who felt awful about ruining one of hers, precious pieces of china that belonged to her grandmother, a sturdy sugar scoop that belonged to her mother, an old fashion can-opener that was grandpa's favorite, etc...
She bought us dinner at...I kind of lost track of time, but want to say 7:ish. After dinner KJ had to go (and I should have, but I couldn't pull myself away, and BJ was with the kids) and I was the sole recepient of so many wonderful stories, including the story my daughter asked her about, "How did your husband die" I cry now even thinking about it....wow, what an amazing example of love they were (are). Such a simple act as cleaning out kitchen clutter has quickly moved to one of my best moments with Grandma. (It's right up there with sleep-overs and taffy-pulling) Finally, after 11 I had to pull myself away from the moment (realizing later that I forgot her spice drawer...and the scant filled DI box....oops!) and get back home. I also loved watching Ashlyn realize she was named after grandma (Ashlyn Grace, Helen Grace) and the admiration that developed right before my eyes.
I know Ashlyn will remember that night forever, right along with me.
I love you Grandma!
Here's how it went on Thursday:
I arrived at 5:00 (on the dot) and brought with me my post-its, sharpie, labeler, and "DI box" and got right to work. There were two main problem areas and I figured it would take me 2 hours, 1 with KJ helping. I was off.... way off.
I don't want you to think I am about to start complaining about cleaning or organizing, or the random out of place things I was finding...this is about something totally different. Life. I had absolutely no idea how lived in her kitchen was until I started escaping into her memories. The very first cabinet I opened was full of beautifully random stemware. Not one piece was the same, each piece gorgeous. KJ and I started digging for the memories about where they were from and the stories that came with them. It went this way with each item, including salt and pepper shakers from switzerland that she never uses, and a pan from her neice (Becca) who felt awful about ruining one of hers, precious pieces of china that belonged to her grandmother, a sturdy sugar scoop that belonged to her mother, an old fashion can-opener that was grandpa's favorite, etc...
She bought us dinner at...I kind of lost track of time, but want to say 7:ish. After dinner KJ had to go (and I should have, but I couldn't pull myself away, and BJ was with the kids) and I was the sole recepient of so many wonderful stories, including the story my daughter asked her about, "How did your husband die" I cry now even thinking about it....wow, what an amazing example of love they were (are). Such a simple act as cleaning out kitchen clutter has quickly moved to one of my best moments with Grandma. (It's right up there with sleep-overs and taffy-pulling) Finally, after 11 I had to pull myself away from the moment (realizing later that I forgot her spice drawer...and the scant filled DI box....oops!) and get back home. I also loved watching Ashlyn realize she was named after grandma (Ashlyn Grace, Helen Grace) and the admiration that developed right before my eyes.
I know Ashlyn will remember that night forever, right along with me.
I love you Grandma!
Divinity Dolls!!!
YUM!!! They turned out! I wish I had taste-tube so y'all could understand how great these are!
(Divinity is a treat...the skirt of the doll...that is made mostly from sugar, karo, & egg whites)
I am doing a YW lesson on "Each Person is Divine and Eternal", so naturally, as a treat, I would make these darling "Divinity Dolls" They are a fun tradition in my moms family that will be seen at most bridal showers. Mine are not nearly as cute as the ones that mom, grandma and the aunts make, but, hey, it's my first time!
Yeah, Carson likes them too.
(Divinity is a treat...the skirt of the doll...that is made mostly from sugar, karo, & egg whites)
I am doing a YW lesson on "Each Person is Divine and Eternal", so naturally, as a treat, I would make these darling "Divinity Dolls" They are a fun tradition in my moms family that will be seen at most bridal showers. Mine are not nearly as cute as the ones that mom, grandma and the aunts make, but, hey, it's my first time!
Yeah, Carson likes them too.
I have to toot my horn!
I had a baby shower Saturday then again the following Thursday (yesterday, and although I missed the one Saturday, I was able to give the new mom to be the gift on Thursday because...) The showers were for Heather and Laura, who are both wives of boy cousins on my mom's side of the family and they are both about to have a baby girl... so I decided to get them both the same gift!
I got a little outfit, wrapped it up in a receiving blanket, made a little box and made 5 bracelets to go in the box. (paper box) The Best part (in my humble opinion) was the little pink pearl bracelet (center of picture) that I decided not to put in with the rest of the bracelets because it was from a "Fallen Necklace" from my Great Grandma. Instead, I wrote the following poem, rolled it up, and attached the bracelet to it and tied it to the top of the gift. The poem was a total last minute thing that came together so well as never before so I have to share it! Read on...
I got a little outfit, wrapped it up in a receiving blanket, made a little box and made 5 bracelets to go in the box. (paper box) The Best part (in my humble opinion) was the little pink pearl bracelet (center of picture) that I decided not to put in with the rest of the bracelets because it was from a "Fallen Necklace" from my Great Grandma. Instead, I wrote the following poem, rolled it up, and attached the bracelet to it and tied it to the top of the gift. The poem was a total last minute thing that came together so well as never before so I have to share it! Read on...
Heritage Pearls
This sweet string of pearls is so much more,
It has many great stories to tell.
For these precious pink beads for your sweet little girl,
Once adored our own Audrey Belle.
Audrey Belle Benson White Brown was her name
Though to your’s it’s Great, Great Grandma Brown.
She would often be found wearing trinkets like these
Not just for a night on the town.
World War 1, Women’s Sufferage, Start and end of Depression
World War 2, and Korea seen past.
Stop Segregation, Men land on the moon,
Oh my! How this world moves so fast.
Marriage, Divorce, Birth and then Death,
These pearls have seen tales unfurl.
Now it’s your turn to bring them alive,
On the wrist of your new baby girl.
A necklace it was, but time broke it down
Let it spread through our great family tree
Your daughter, then hers, or grand-daughter-in-law
Will too think of her Great…
…Great, Great, Great, Grandma Brown.
In Loving Memory...
I just want to cry every time I go to a cemetery! This Memorial Day, my kiddies and I tagged along with my parents to visit out "Preceded By's". We visited quite a few graves, but the only ones I remember are My Grandpa White, and Bj's Grandpa White. (Above pic is AJ with his Great Grandpa Joe White -bj's gpa. My mom took pictures at My Grandpa White's grave)
My Grandma White shared a story about when she was a little girl (which I will share the best I can, I was focusing a lot of energy on not crying, so my recollection may be a little foggy): When she went to visit her grandpa's grave for the first time, she noticed the vase hole in the stone, crouched down, cupped her hands around her mouth and hollered directly to him, "Hellooooooooooo Grandpa". Her mom looked down in awe and said, "That's OK!" Since then it has been a tradition for her. It was fun participating, and watching Betsy and Johnny holler down to their great grandparents. I bet they (the deceased & my cousins) look forward to that every year! I know I will from now on!
My Grandpa John L. White, passed away before AJ was born so none of my kids had the privilege of knowing him. He was an amazing man with the kindest heart. Grandpa was so fun to play games with. He is the one who taught me how to play Backgammon, Hand & Foot, Solitare, 21, and many others. He is also the reason I like lemon or lime in my Diet Coke. Just about every time I went there, we would walk in the door, grandpa would stand up, walk into the kitchen, make diet cokes in a tall glass with ice and lemons, then deliver them to his guests. One of my most sought after memories of grandpa are the quiet moments and looks between him and grandma. I think of those moments and am overwhelmed with love. Never, have I seen a couple more in love. It is what I aspire to with BJ. I miss you grandpa.
BJ's grandpa was also a very amazing man. A WWII veteran, like my grandpa, told great stories of his war days. Last Christmas (or was it the one before) Grandma compiled a book of memories from his children and grand children, and had it bound into a hardback book. It also contained his incredible autobiography that he was working on until the end. I knew him for 12 years before he passed away and grew to love him immediately. He was extremely optimistic and was always thinking of ways to bless the lives of others. Joe was so willing to help out with any project, he even helped tile our house 5 years ago. He was so proud of his family, even down to the great grand kids, he had a special place in his heart for all of us and we knew it.
It is understandable that God needs their perfect spirits to help with his work. I feel their spirits often, and although I miss them immensely, I look forward to the day we will be together again.
I Love my Cybergrandma!
My grandma is totally awesome. Seriously. Other than her tender heart and witty mind, she is completely up with the times. She is constantly keeping me updated through her emails. I get updates on the world, church, history, and other current events almost daily. Well, today I woke up with a nasty case of the "you don't wanna knows" and felt awful. I decided to check my email and lo and behold "Helen White" has sent me an email. I open it first and am so glad I did!!! She totally made my day by sending me this you-tube link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkYZ6rbPU2M
(Thanks, Aimee, that was easy breezy!!)
I have never heard of this group, but what a LAUGH!!!
Thanks Grandma!
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