2-23-17
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Another new car
How often do we get to buy two cars in one year? Hopefully never again. But we are ecstatic about this new addition. A 2014 Pathfinder (w 10k miles!) platinum edition with a winter package (um- how have I ever lived without a heated steaming wheel?!) and a TON of non-essential awesomeness.
Welcome to the family.
Welcome to the family.
Job
Many people complain about their jobs. Not enough money, too demanding on my time, coworkers... etc. Of course I have my complaints, but mostly it consists of: not-fulfilling-enough. However, afternoons like today are pretty much awesome. I'm listening to geography trivia while coloring. Kinda my favorite two things. #itdoesn'tgetmuchbetter
Sleep
I have never been a big fan of babies sleeping in my bed. Actually, I refused. When our first baby was born, Bj and I came up with a method that worked marvelously for three separate infants. It went a little something like this:
Beside Bjs side of the bed would be our baby in the bassinet. He is a deep sleeper, and can basically fall asleep on command. So when the baby cried, needing a feeding, or whatever, I would nudge his sleeping form and he would make the initial contact. He would try the "one-hand-tap-on-the-back", the "binki re-insertion", the "rock the bassinet", all before gently cradling the whimpering miracle. I would then retrieve the inconsolable bundle, go to the family room, settle in to my rocker or recliner and nurse my Tylenol PM through to my offspring. Once they were contentedly drooling, I would go back to bed, pass the baby to BJ who would pat their back until they spewed across his chest or relieved their excess pressure. Then he would gently roll the baby back to the cozy bassinet.
It was a great system. It worked flawlessly (when he was on shift, I didn't mind doing it myself).
When the kids were older, And would come in because of nightmares, they still would not be invited into our bed. We would offer comfort, and alternate endings to change the course of the dream then lie beside them in their bed until they were ok. If they were inconsolable we would drag their bedding into our room where they would sleep peacefully on the floor beside us (we never told them about the monsters that live under there).
Same rule for sickness- ish. I do not handle vomit well so bj would be on clean-up, I would be on bedding change, we would give them Tylenol, a bowl, and a kiss on the head. They then had the option of their bed or our floor.
Now that our kids are no longer nursing, need consoling for nightmares, or miss the toilet when sickness strikes, we rarely have to give them a sleeping choice.
A few years ago, bj and I upgraded to a king sized mattress. Since then, if the circumstance is right, I will allow a child to sleep in Bj's spot when he is at work. We build a pillow barricade and they have their side and I have mine. It's a peaceful arrangement that satisfies all.
Until last night.
When I went to bed after watching, "The Help" (great movie!), Carson was completely passed out, nestled into Bj's indentation. I put on pajamas (which I usually just sleep in my unders, but don't like to if my kids are in there), then built a pillow barricade, put in my ear-plugs (he's a quiet snorer) and sunk in to my new cool gel pillow. For about three seconds- when he cascaded our "pillowcade" and slung his heavy arm over my face. I reset our sleeping scenario, and tried again. This time I made it about 45 minutes before his foot found my ribcage. Reset, attack. Reset, attack. Finally after 4:00, I woke him up and began to lead him to his bed. He was startled and sleepily reached for my bed then asked, "what are you doing?". I told him he needed to go to bed. He responded with a slurred, "I'm sleeping right there". (Pointing to my bed). I told him no and he asked, "Why?!". And just as I started to explain he put up his hand (think, "talk to the hand") and spit out, "shhhhhh!!!", then stumbled into his bed and shut his eyes before he hit the pillow.
I'm officially back to the whole "no kids in my bed" rule.
I love them beyond words, but they need a well rested mother.
Weight Loss
So, when someone has lost weight it reminds me of talking to someone who is pregnant. There is that stage where you are not sure if they are pregnant, and don't want to ask in case they have just been eating a little more heartily, or whatever. You skirt around it by saying things like, "So... what's new with you?" Or, "how are your kids?". But, when it is obvious, then it's ok to say things like, "when are you due", or "how far along are you?". But you have to find the right way to say it so you don't leave the, already emotional mother feeling plummy and unattractive. 
Well, when someone has lost weight it's a delicate balance as well. The comment, "Holy cow! You have lost a ton of weight!" May feel like a compliment coming out of your mouth, but could be interpreted as, ("a ton? I haven't even changed pant sizes, how big did I look?"). But the more subtle inquiry, "have you been losing weight?", is a more tactful way of initiating a conversation about someone's trimmed physical appearance. But once it's been said, no need to dwell... things like, "seriously, you look great!" Then 5 minutes later; "I just can't get over how skinny you are!", then 10 minutes after that, "have you had to buy a whole new wardrobe?!" Is going way too far. For me anyway. I have had a few of these experiences lately and sometimes they bolster me onward, and others, reaching for a bag of potato chips and the tv remote.
Yes. I have lost some of my excess "insulation". Some people are going to ask me about it, and my preferred conversation begins with, "what have you been doing...". And to put it out there, this is the gist of what I have been doing to lose weight:
My friend Amie gave me a Fitbit on my birthday this past March, which is also the day we got home from our highly active L.A. adventure. I weighed myself that morning and decided the time had come to take control, but I wasn't sure what to do. After a delicious birthday breakfast with Amie, where she gave me the fitness tracker, I went home, read the instructions (I always read instructions), and have rarely been seen without it since. With my goal set at the American Heart Association recommended 10,000 steps per day, I have met the goal, on average, about 2.5 times per week, and get close to 8,000 about 6 times per week. This is my number one contribution to my weight loss.
Second, breakfast. I am a big believer in a nutrient packed breakfast. My go-to morning meal since March 29, has been a veggie, egg white, omelette, with a multi-grain English muffin. Occasionally I'll toss in some cheese or bacon crumble, but for the most part it's a medley of colorful bell peppers, zucchini, squash and onions, all of which are diced and frozen together. All I have to do is scoop about 1 cup in a buttered (yes, actual butter) sautée pan. I cook them until the moisture has reduced then crack the eggs right over the top, keeping the yolk in the shell to be discarded. Covering the pan steams the top layer of egg finishing it nicely. Then, if I'm feeling it, I add spinach, (also chopped and frozen) cheese and bacon, or ham if I've got it.
Since the gift of the Fitbit I have been more conscientious of my caloric intake but have refused myself, nothing. I still binge on popcorn when I go to the movies. I still eat 2 red lobster biscuits whenever we make them. But instead of eating two tamales on Thursday at Cafe rio, I order two, and ask for extra lettuce and a small side of dressing for a "side salad", and the rice and beans in side dishes so I can eat them with my second tamale the next day. Little changes like this, in accompaniment with the 10,000 step attempt and low calorie yet deliciously filling breakfast, has been the change I needed to shed some of my excess. The hardest part is finding time to walk (I won't go in to my allocation of time, but I have to get creative sometimes). Some days I run a little just to get it done faster, but I really, really hate running, so I try and avoid it.
That's it.
That's the gist.
I don't go in to that much detail when people ask me about it, especially if they are making me feel like I was previously an after school special. But I am happy with my progress and hope I can keep up my fitness and eating habits throughout the baking season.
Election 2016
I am far from politically active. Like. Seriously. But during presidential elections I am bombarded by the medias opinions regarding the top two running mates. The ones selected this time around were not ideal. Listening to their debates literally had me trembling with annoyance, and even fear, at times. Both of them. Clinton and Trump.
Well, crap.
You fumble and look around as far as you are able, you may even be able to holler for help or a delivery, but eventually you are able to get cleaned up and get on with your life.
That's how I feel about the whole election.
Oh. Crap.
But all I can do is what I can do, and get on with my life.
(To be clear, these still would have been my thoughts regardless of the outcome)
Creativity Fizzle
I feel like I have hit my creative climax and am starting a rapid decline to fizzling out, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. For such a long time one my most "prized" characteristics was my creativity. I won't say I am no longer creative, but I just lack the drive hat I once had. I still enjoy my creative outlets, well... outlet: Card Group. I've been part of this group or another for probably 10-12 years and even though the cards are still fun to make, and I'm still enjoying the creative process, my focus is more what others would enjoy rather than what I enjoy making. It sounds somewhat "noble" when I say it like that, but this was suppose to be something for me (here is the selfish beast...) this outlet was about me making time for things I like and I want to do and giving myself the break that I deserve. I am ok with the redirecting of "me-time" but feel a little guilty filling the "me-time" with Netflix instead of developing a talent or investing my time in something that will encourage long lasting and rewarding results. 
Yes... that is a puffy Pokémon sticker. Carson was over the moon when he saw it, I knew he would be, but it was a serious struggle with my creative side to stoop to making a Pokémon card. I will redeem myself.
Oh well.
That's enough of that.
Here are my contributions for this session:
Next time.
costume shopping
Never a dull moment with this man. Halloween party in an hour, better find something to wear...
I have so much fun with this man of many faces. Even though he mostly has one: Love. He loves me so much. I love spending time with him, whether it's curled up in a blanket watching our latest craze on Netflix, reading side-by-side in bed, (or me reading, him trying to get me to stop...) taking our kids on outings and vacations, or even on the phone while he is on shift. I love him through and through and am so lucky that I get to spend eternity with him.
Quiet Drive
My children are absolutely perfect and never make any mistakes. They never frustrate me to the point of insanity. They are always asking for ways to help and make my life easier. Clean rooms, obedient behavior, there are rainbows sprouting from every glistening light bulb in our house.
My life is perfect.
This is the mantra I was spouting as I put myself in time out today. (Although I do admit that I prefer to have these conversations with an accent, today I chose Irish.)
Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done. From the day I realized I was pregnant I was suddenly granted a myriad of complex emotions and no guide on how to combat them. I am constantly being pushed to my limit in good ways and bad. I have never felt more joy, disappointment, love, and frustration in my entire life than in the past 15 years.
My family has recently joined digital forces in the form of the iPhone app, "Little Alchemist" that simply combines two elements to create a new one. For example Earth + air = dust. Earth + fire = lava. Mud+fire=brick, =wall, =house, =building, =city, =sea, =boat, =pirate... anyway... Some elements are created with random items such as Human and energy = wizard, or wood and fabric = tent. This reminds me of parenting. How I find myself with two elements such as tired + stressed and I somehow get witch, or compliant + energetic = wetting my pants on the tramp. There are so many elements involved in raising a family that are unpredictable and obscure, yet strangely satisfying and fulfilling. Especially at this time in my life where I am working full time, going to school full time, have an active calling in YW, kids that are in soccer, swimming, parkour, guitar, ukulele, piano, and a husband who is gone for two complete days every week. So when I have a combination of elements such as misbehaving children+ husband at work +++ it is no wonder that my outcome ends up being a silent ride up Butterfield canyon looking at beautiful fall leaves, wild turkeys, and baby deer.
Really,
My life is perfect.
Mostly.
BABIES!
BJ and I usually have to fight over who gets to hold a baby, but tonight there were TWO!!! Not twins, but cousins! Jamie threw a birthday party for Adam and these are babies from his side of the family. It is so fun being the "aunt"! I feel like when my babies were this age, I did not really get to be much of an aunt because I had my own little ones that had my constant attention. Now that my baby is 10, and only wants me around to play pokemon on my phone, I get to spread my attention to other little humans that cross my path. BJ has the same mentality as me and is loving this phase of our lives. No toxic teens, and no teething toddlers, just a good opportunity to see who else is part of our world.
Oh, how I have changed
August 12, 2016
This beautiful bride is getting married tomorrow. And she is spending her pre-wedding night at my house. Other than the beautiful event she has planned all I can think about is how much my life has changed in the past decade. Old Lizz would have been in over the top Hostess-mode. She would have draped sheer white fabric around the mirrors. Fresh flowers on the dresser, mints on the pillows, chilled water in the fridge, a mani-pedi scheduled, along with a cucumber mask and relaxing music to get a good nights rest. Breakfast would have been a well-planned, yet light and fare feast. Fruits, juices, a couple pastry's along with mini quiche. However, this Lizz did a quick change of the sheets, olive garden (which she beat me to the check) and last minute wedding assignments before crashing. Breakfast was a single breakfast casserole (items purchased the night before) thrown in the oven on my way out the door to carson's soccer game. It's like I don't even exist anymore! Oh well. She left in one piece. That's about all I can do.
Deer Creek
August 11, 2016
An impromptu invitation took us to Deer Creek today. The Pitt's have their Washington to Guam layover packed to the hilt and there is a hole in the schedule that they decided, last minute, to fill with a water-skiing trip. We were able to join them (sans AJ, who took a quick trip to St. George with Grandma and Grandpa Castleberry). It was quite blustery for a couple hours, but fun was still had by all! I was even able to get up on the waterskiis! We love spending time with family and today was no exception. Thanks for the fun trip Grandma and Grandpa and Pitts Fam!
(Ash and Kyra, Me on Skiis, and Bj's windblown look)
Still in love
"I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!" One of my favorite lines from the movie, "Elf". Today is mine and BJ's anniversary. We were married in 1998 and I am still glad we did it! It is so fun being married. It is harder than I ever imagined, but as far as being surprised by my expectations, I never expected it to be so rewarding, as well. I love my husband, probably more than he knows, or that I express. I am not the most expressive person, and that is something I know I need to work on (even though he makes it hard sometimes). But I am so proud of what we have created together and look forward to every day that I get to spend with him.
I also must say I still love my ring as much as the day it was slipped on my trembling finger.
Sunsets
July 17, 2016
I love sunsets. I get it from my parents, my mom in particular. I know everyone appreciates a beautiful sunset, but my mom has always pointed them out with such awe and reverence that I have often found myself doing the same. I was pleasantly surprised when AJ asked to borrow my phone so he could take a picture of the sunset tonight. He has such a good eye for photography that I immediately agreed and was not disappointed when he brought back this shot. Sunsets have a way of putting things into perspective for me unlike anything else. I have seen them in many different parts of the country and maintain the best sunsets are seen from atop the Wasatch mountain range overlooking the Great Salt Lake and Antelope Island.
Impressive young lady
July 5, 2016
Despite being more scared than she has been in her entire life (and mine) she didn't hesitate to get up at 6:30 to go to girls camp. She asked me to say an extra prayer with her last night to help her sleep and not dream about the car accident (that could have killed her yesterday). When she woke up, she said she didn't have a bad dream, and didn't feel scared anymore.
Summer School
July 1, 2016
This is my life now. At least I have a dependable laptop, an adorable table, lovely trees, and a spill-proof water bottle. Actually, its weird that I have water in this picture. I usually have a diet coke as my companion. It gets me through.
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