Fired... Literally.

We moved in to our house January 2, 2003.  We could have moved in the week of Christmas prior, but decided a few more nights renting wouldn't hurt. 

This fridge has been running full steam ever since and has served us well. Until about 2 years ago when it started icing over and leaking into the fridge. Iced lettuce really doesn't work so I consulted dr. Google and learned how to cope with a freezer with leaky tear ducts. It was no small feat, de-icing the freezer. We would start off at the first sign of ice (which was often once we noticed it in the fridge, but more recently, because if the increase in frequency that it occurred I took to checking the freeze about every other day). I would have the kids form an assembly line from the inside freezer to the deep freeze in the garage and we would pass items from person to person while we completely emptied the inside freezer of all its contents. The next step was to chip out any ice I could without damaging the appliance. Lastly was to leave the freezer door open and unplug the fridge allowing the freezer to defrost and the drain hole to flow freely once again (making the big white box a cooler instead of a fridge). I guess the last step would technically to remind the kids to stay out of the fridge or they would risk spoiling everything in the fridge. 

Well. Today started off as any other annoying de-icing except when I put a washrag in the freezer to absorb some of the thawing moisture, it touched a coil under a panel at the back of the freezer and the beautiful, handmade, washrag, caught on fire. 

Yes,

It caught on FIRE!

I told Bj to meet me at Lowes after work, we were getting a new fridge. 

Now this picture is a historical marking of something that once was. Thank goodness for that. 

Practically-perfect

We love Saturdays. They are pretty packed, but with only two kids (Aj and Carson) currently involved in team sports, we don't feel the stress we felt last fall when all three kids were playing soccer. Although we are bummed Ash isnt involved in anything yet (but there is a plan in motion...) we love having her cheer along side us. The best thing about this season is between soccer and Lacrosse, we only have one game that overlaps (which happens to be the last game of the season, which unfortunately Bj will be at work. But we will work that out when it's closer. I'm kinda hoping for heavy snow so they're both cancelled:) I digress...)

Aj is on the "Herriman-Juniors-Red" team which is 7-8 graders. I am really bummed about how little playing time Aj gets because he really is an asset. He has proved to be the fastest kid on the team, but because he is a first season player, he doesn't have the experience many of the other team-members have, thus, his field time has not been more than 5 minutes during an entire game. Which is crap. His first game, last week, they were ahead by 8 points before the coach put him in.  And todays game, which they lost 3-0, he had less than 3 min play-time for the entire game.  I get really frustrated because I think he is underutilized, but when I asked him if it bothered him that he didn't get much game play, he said no. So apparently he is content with practicing three, two-hour, days a week, countless hours in our backyard and other locations, just to sit on the sideline. I guess I'll try and be less frustrated. 

Carsons soccer team, the Hawks, has been playing together for a few years and is currently in first place in the "Comp" circuit. Carson isn't the strongest player on his team, but he absolutely loves it. I wish he would get more play time as well, but I'm not as frustrated about his situation as Aj's. I was really bummed last week when I had to miss part of his game and showed up just before half time and he didn't get played once while I was there. But, in defense of the coach, Jeff Gaisford, he did warn the parents before we went "Comp" that if we chose to stay with the team, we would be playing to win, and the boys that could make that happen would be the ones with the most field time. Both of my boys show great promise during practice, but during field time, they tend to buckle a bit under pressure. Unfortunately, the only way to get past that is by getting more game-time. And now we're back to square one. 

Anyway. Enough about my whining. I really do enjoy our time together on Saturdays. Today was the perfect day.  We had a delicious fruity crépe breakfast, then the boys played in the back yard and on the x-box, for s bit, while Ash and I did crafts together. After a quick sandwich we headed to AJ's game on 9400 s and 300 e.  Then between games we went to Barnes and noble, a couple blocks from Aj's game, where it was hosting "authorpalooza" and had a bunch of authors and their new books available for signings and descriptions. It was so fun!  After we filled a bag with promising books, we headed up the street for Carson's game. Bj and Aj practiced lax passes at Carson's field park then we headed to Noodles & co. for dinner where I took this picture (which was fun with everyone wearing their Hawks shirts that a dad on Carsons team had ordered).  Back at home we all decompressed with the movie "Furious 7" which Ash quickly abandoned and Carson was snoring through. 

It really was a practically-perfect Saturday with my practically-pefect familia. 

He hot-boxed the entire bedroom

Being married isn't always what it's cracked up to be. I love my husband. Absolutely adore him. I would do anything for him. But last night when I walked into my bedroom and I felt like I walked through a misty a wall of stank, I was ready to walk out the door and never come back.

He's just keepin' life interesting.

Sisters and Mothers

While at Kneaders for lunner (lunch/dinner) enjoying the delicious raspberry bread pudding and chili in a sourdough bread bowl, Bj and I sat next to two women and two children. Beautiful and Exotic, I'll call the mothers, Darling and Precious, i'll call the children. Beautiful was sitting next to Darling sharing her food. Darling, I assumed, was around 3. Beautiful shared her food, Darling picked at her chips and sandwich and wiping Beautiful's mouth. Beautiful was so outwardly happy to be sharing the moment with the adorable little Darling. Exotic was trying to pacify Precious. Not throwing a fit, but not really happy, but at 8-11 months (my guess) communication and restaurants aren't prominent. Exotic was present, but not in love with her child like Beautiful was. I sat in my seat sharing my kid-free moments with BJ wondering when I went from Beautiful to Exotic. I remember a time when I enjoyed simple moments with my kids. Now, like Exotic, taking them out isn't as enjoyable. I know it's my own fault. I just watched Beautiful and craved the care-free moments I miss with my kids. I even made a silent pledge to make it a point to avoid the stern fallback that I've become. I know why I changed. It happens. Change is unavoidable. After an entire lunch of intense, yet subtle observation (AKA spying and eavesdropping) Exotic loaded precious in a stroller, turned the stroller and I realized it was a double stroller... Darling was hers too.
Lightbulb.
Thanks for the lesson Beautiful.

Public Discipline...

5-31-12
Not sure if I have time for this post but we'll see how it goes.
How different should children be reprimanded/disciplined in public, as opposed to their own home? I'm sitting here at Gymnastics (Ash is loving it) and one of the gym-moms has her darling two-year-old in a full body constraint to keep him from running around. She has already yelled (yes, yelled... Enough to make me jump) at her little man twice for runnin around. Don't get me wrong, I TOTALLY agree with the fact that she is making him behave, (he is now back on the ground playing, but no longer running). A lady last week who had her two year old ALL-OVER the place and kept sweetly saying, "come sit by mommy, don't run on the benches, climb down from there" which went in one ear and out the other. I'll admit I'm more like the first mom. If we are in a public place, I want my kids to understand there are clear rules as to how they behave. I think they have to know then and there, not in the car or when they get home. I dont yell as much as this mom, but depending on the place, I'll raise my voice and even make an angry face... You can bet mom number 1's son will respect my house when she comes to visit teach, where as mom number 2 will let her kid reek havoc on my house and leave me in a mess! I think the hard thing about public discipline is by standards misunderstanding, judging, or nosing in (mom 1 just yelled again). I often wonder if people think "wow, if she's this mean with people watching, what does she do behind closed doors?"
Dang. It's time to go. Anyway, that's what's on my mind right now. Parenting is hard enough without feeling judged. I wonder what it would be like I all outside opinions weren't around.

Laptop

I think I need a laptop.

Yesterday, after yet another amazing (both in flavor and fun) Castleberry Sunday Dinner, Paul (my awesome bigger littlest brother) let me take home his laptop. It's intent was to let kids watch movies on it, but I found myself studying for school, social networking, and blog stalking! I rarely do this on account of our computer is in the basement... not that it's a problem being there, but it is right by the washing machine that taunts me and lets me know there is more important stuff to do than search for recipes using yams. (although now that we are sporting the front loader, the visions of the top opening, turning into a howler (harry potter reference) and yelling at me have cut back... a bit...)

But with a laptop......I am able to be in the midst of all the chaos, while dutifully you-tubing ASL videos at the same time!

I have contemplated an ipad or other tablet, and while an ipad would be a godsend for my job, I really enjoy the lap-able comfort, finger-sized alpha keys, and face forward viewing capabilities that a laptop has to offer!

My mind is set: I am keeping Paul's laptop. I guess sometimes being generous doesn't really pay off the way we hope.

Thanks bro.

What the Hail?

Anyone else get PELTED by the hail storm today? It was REALLY painful! It was actually clumps of ICE! I don't know if I have ever been so amazed by the power of ICE! AJ (still on a Posideon Kick) asked if it was posideon who made the hail, because it was kind of watery, then said, "actually, I'll bet it was Zeus". Where does he learn this stuff!!!

This was after the sun and hot hand melted it down quite a bit (not to mention blurry)

SERIOUSLY?

Mother Nature,

Although I am grateful that I have not put hours into a vegetable garden, I am still disappointed in your timing for this snow storm.  I don't know why you insist on chilling us every May.  You taunt us with your sunshine and your 80 degree day, then you throw a fit, and unleash your fluttery fury on my beautiful daisys. Why?  I respect your power, I bask in the greatness of your creations, but ping-pong sized snowflakes, in May? REALLY?  You are breaking trees, ruining food supplies, and tracking mud through my house.  I know I don't understand your grand scheme, but I have to let you know I am not pleased.  (though, I am grateful for the moisture...)

Sincerely,
Me.

Hmmm...

Last night, I logged on facebook.
Facebook you ask? What's that?
That is exactly what I was trying to figure out.

I have been a "Member" of Facebook for a while now but am not sure what it is for. Typically, When I get on to the computer, I check my Hotmail email address (that I get all my school emails through as well as BJ's family), my Comcast address (is where my family and church emails go), I have even assisted in launching a YW blog as to help with communication with the Young Women in my ward (thinking how up & hip that would be...) well, apparantly "Facebook" is the trumph card, the ace of spades.Where in the world have I been?

"I facebooked you"

"Did you see my status update on facebook"

"I found_______on facebook"

After about an hour and a half of facebook stalking, I still don't really understand the point. Am I missing something? Is online social networking really the thing of the future? Do people still use phones (when they are not on the computer at the same time)? Do I remember being young at home and being embarassed for my parents lack of "Know"?.

I am living in a world that is moving a million times faster than myself. 

And then there's texting.  Don't get me wrong, I am a HUGE fan of texting.  Texting I get,... texting I get.
but at the same time,

I don't get it.
Last night I was on the phone, more than once.  It was really interesting to have a conversatoin with a human being.  I was able to listen to a laugh, not just look at the LOL! I heard pauses in their voice, not the ... of a thought.  I was able to make plans in one stream of thoughts without them being interrupted.  *sigh* what an effective method of communication.  That Alex G Bell was inspired.

I guess the thing I am having a hard time comprehending is the reasonings behind the technological advances.  Who thinks, "My 2 email accounts don't reach enough people, I want do connect to people I haven't talked to, thought about or seen in 12 years"... Who thinks, "I want to go to the movies with a friend, but I want to plan the whole thing without actually talking to them" (on that note, is it true texting was invented for the Deaf community?  I can see that)

Blogging I get. No training necessary. (fyi)

Technology,
It is genius. It really is.  I am grateful.
But I am a little overwhelmed. Especially after realizing that there is so much more out there.

I'm going to read a book. (an actual book that has actual pages made of actual paper)

Luxury Stalls

As a young woman, I took pride in my bladder. Public restrooms were urban ledgends, stories told by those in desperate need of a break from current company regardless of their travels.  I could hold it for a year if necessary, then relieve myself in the blink of an eye.  Now, for some reason (stop trying to blame the diet coke) possibly related to multiple pregnancies or age even, I plan my errands around  places with beautiful bathrooms.  I will find myself at Smiths with their sunflower stamped tiles, or Tai Pan and their huge waste cans and bending hallway, or slightly disappointed at the retail craft-stores (plain white? a craft store, really???), but the one thing I look forward to, the one consistency is the equal provision of luxury stalls.  To most, they are disguised as handicap stalls, but as a seasoned urinator, I know better.  I can only safely say this because not once have I ever completed my task, opened the door, and found someone waiting for my lush relief zone.  I know putting this out there puts my convenience at risk, but I can be selfish no longer. 

Consider yourself "In" on the secret.  

Welcome to "posh"-er living.

Go to...

I have been asked a lot lately how school is going.  The words "Fine" or "Fun" seem to erupt from my mouth before I can stop them.  It truly is Fine and Fun, but there are a constant flow of emotions involved with those two little "F" words. 

I have never really been very expressive or accepting of my emotions towards myself.  I suppress them, and thankfully, (most of the time) they don't fight back, they just eventually simmer and die out.  But the emotions that have presented themselves as I drive to and from classes three times a week have a hard time dying out because they do cartwheels on my dashboard as I try to get to class on time. 
This is what they say:
You haven't done anything fun with Carson today. Go home.
It is good to continue your education like this. Go to class.
Ashlyn really likes YOU to drive her to school. go home.
You deserve this chance. Go to class.
After school snacks and Mom go hand in hand, go home.
 BJ enjoys the time with the kids, go to class.
You don't need a job go home.
This is an amazing opportunity, go to class.
What are you avoiding? Kids? GO HOME!
This is a step toward the future, go to class.
Is this what you want to do with your life? Go home.
You have seen BJ 2 hours total this week, go home.
Your house is a MESs! Go home.
Am I wasting time? What is my plan?

I can't type fast enough to satisfy the debate in my....heart? Mind?  I have many friends that work and raise kids and don't seem to struggle.  I am only gone 9 hours a week tops, and all but Monday night, I pick my time away.  Is it just change playing tricks on me? Should I feel so conflicted?
I am totally happy and excited and could stay much longer when I have class, but after and before, I get bombarded with emotions!
How do I deal with this???!!!

Cheated

I love the school year.

I love the consistent routine that offers peace and sanity (ironically, as I type this sentence Ashlyn and Carson are having a "I hate you" yelling match... hmmm.). I feel like I am more productive, my kids behavior is managable and my level of all around tolerance is much higher.

One thing I don't like about the school year is that when my alarm clock is set for 7:00 my body insists on beating the alarm and waking up 10 minutes early. Instead of taking advantage of an extra 10 minutes of kid-less awake time, I pessimistically feel cheated. I could get up, but no. I scoff and roll over and wait...... and wait............ and wait........................... for what seems to be the longest ten minutes EVER. Once my ipod alarm clock chooses my wake-up song of the day, I roll over to face the truth, slap it in the face, and take the next 10 minutes to actually sleep. The second song is always better than the first one anyway.